By C Collodi
"Never, never, never!"
"What a delightful country!" said Pinocchio, his mouth watering. "What a delightful country! I have never been there, but I can quite imagine it."
"Why will you not come also?"
"It is useless to tempt me. I promised my good Fairy to become a sensible boy, and I will not break my word."
"Good-bye, then, and give my compliments to all the boys at school, if you meet them in the street."
"Good-bye, Candlewick; a pleasant journey to you; amuse yourself, and think sometimes of your friends."
Thus saying, the puppet made two steps to go, but then stopped, and, turning to his friend, he inquired:
"But are you quite certain that in that country all the weeks consist of six Saturdays and one Sunday?"
"Most certainly."
"But do you know for certain that the holidays begin on the first of
January and finish on the last day of December?"
"Assuredly."
"What a delightful country!" repeated Pinocchio, looking enchanted.
Then, with a resolute air, he added in a great hurry:
"This time really good-bye, and a pleasant journey to you."
"Good-bye."
"When do you start?"
"Shortly."
"What a pity! If really it wanted only an hour to the time of your start, I should almost be tempted to wait."
"And the Fairy?"
"It is already late. If I return home an hour sooner or later it will be all the same."
"Poor Pinocchio! And if the Fairy scolds you?"
"I must have patience! I will let her scold. When she has scolded well she will hold her tongue."
In the meantime night had come on and it was quite dark. Suddenly they saw in the distance a small light moving and they heard a noise of talking, and the sound of a trumpet, but so small and feeble that it resembled the hum of a mosquito.
"Here it is!" shouted Candlewick, jumping to his feet.
"What is it?" asked Pinocchio in a whisper.
"It is the coach coming to take me. Now will you come, yes or no?"
"But is it really true," asked the puppet, "that in that country boys are never obliged to study?"
"Never, never, never!"
"What a delightful country! What a delightful country! What a delightful country!"
At last the coach arrived, and it arrived without making the slightest noise, for its wheels were bound round with flax and rags.
It was drawn by twelve pairs of donkeys, all the same size but of different colors.
Some were gray, some white, some brindled like pepper and salt, and others had large stripes of yellow and blue.
But the most extraordinary thing was this: the twelve pairs, that is, the twenty-four donkeys, instead of being shod like other beasts of burden, had on their feet men's boots made of white kid.
And the coachman?
Picture to yourself a little man broader than he was long, flabby and greasy like a lump of butter, with a small round face like an orange, a little mouth that was always laughing, and a soft, caressing voice like a cat when she is trying to insinuate herself into the good graces of the mistress of the house.
All the boys vied with each other in taking places in his coach, to be conducted to the "Land of Boobies."
The coach was, in fact, quite full of boys between eight and fourteen years old, heaped one upon another like herrings in a barrel. They were uncomfortable, packed closely together and could hardly breathe; but nobody said "Oh!"—nobody grumbled. The consolation of knowing that in a few hours they would reach a country where there were no books, no schools, and no masters, made them so happy and resigned that they felt neither fatigue nor inconvenience, neither hunger, nor thirst, nor want of sleep.
As soon as the coach had drawn up the little man turned to Candlewick and with a thousand smirks and grimaces said to him, smiling:
"Tell me, my fine boy, would you also like to go to that fortunate country?"
"I certainly wish to go."
"But I must warn you, my dear child, that there is not a place left in the coach. You can see for yourself that it is quite full."
"No matter," replied Candlewick, "if there is no place inside, I will manage to sit on the springs."
And, giving a leap, he seated himself astride on the springs.
"And you, my love!" said the little man, turning in a flattering manner to Pinocchio, "what do you intend to do? Are you coming with us or are you going to remain behind?"
"I remain behind," answered Pinocchio. "I am going home. I intend to study, as all well conducted boys do."
"Much good may it do you!"
"Pinocchio!" called out Candlewick, "listen to me: come with us and we shall have such fun."
"No, no, no!"
"Come with us and we shall have such fun," shouted in chorus a hundred voices from the inside of the coach.
"But if I come with you, what will my good Fairy say?" said the puppet, who was beginning to yield.
"Do not trouble your head with melancholy thoughts. Consider only that we are going to a country where we shall be at liberty to run riot from morning till night."
Pinocchio did not answer, but he sighed; he sighed again; he sighed for the third time, and he said finally:
"Make a little room for me, for I am coming, too."
"The places are all full," replied the little man; "but, to show you how welcome you are, you shall have my seat on the box."
"And you?"
"Oh, I will go on foot."
"No, indeed, I could not allow that. I would rather mount one of these donkeys," cried Pinocchio.
Approaching the right-hand donkey of the first pair, he attempted to mount him, but the animal turned on him and, giving him a great blow in the stomach, rolled him over with his legs in the air.
You can imagine the impertinent and immoderate laughter of all the boys who witnessed this scene.
But the little man did not laugh. He approached the rebellious donkey and, pretending to give him a kiss, bit off half of his ear.
Pinocchio in the meantime had gotten up from the ground in a fury and, with a spring, he seated himself on the poor animal's back. And he sprang so well that the boys stopped laughing and began to shout: "Hurrah, Pinocchio!" and they clapped their hands and applauded him as if they would never finish.
Now that Pinocchio was mounted, the coach started. Whilst the donkeys were galloping and the coach was rattling over the stones of the high road, the puppet thought that he heard a low voice that was scarcely audible saying to him:
"Poor fool! you would follow your own way, but you will repent it!"
Pinocchio, feeling almost frightened, looked from side to side to try and discover where these words could come from, but he saw nobody. The donkeys galloped, the coach rattled, the boys inside slept, Candlewick snored like a dormouse, and the little man seated on the box sang between his teeth:
"During the night all sleep,
But I sleep never."
After they had gone another mile, Pinocchio heard the same little low voice saying to him:
"Bear it in mind, simpleton! Boys who refuse to study and turn their backs upon books, schools and masters, to pass their time in play and amusement, sooner or later come to a bad end. I know it by experience, and I can tell you. A day will come when you will weep as I am weeping now, but then it will be too late!"
On hearing these words whispered very softly, the puppet, more frightened than ever, sprang down from the back of his donkey and went and took hold of his mouth.
Imagine his surprise when he found that the donkey was crying—crying like a boy!
"Eh! Sir Coachman," cried Pinocchio to the little man, "here is an extraordinary thing! This donkey is crying."
"Let him cry; he will laugh when he is a bridegroom."
"But have you by chance taught him to talk?"
"No; but he spent three years in a company of learned dogs, and he learned to mutter a few words."
"Poor beast!"
"Come, come," said the little man, "don't let us waste time in seeing a donkey cry. Mount him and let us go on: the night is cold and the road is long."
Pinocchio obeyed without another word. In the morning about daybreak they arrived safely in the "Land of Boobies."
It was a country unlike any other country in the world. The population was composed entirely of boys. The oldest were fourteen, and the youngest scarcely eight years old. In the streets there was such merriment, noise and shouting that it was enough to turn anybody's head. There were troops of boys everywhere. Some were playing with nuts, some with battledores, some with balls. Some rode velocipedes, others wooden horses. A party were playing at hide and seek, a few were chasing each other. Some were reciting, some singing, some leaping. Some were amusing themselves with walking on their hands with their feet in the air; others were trundling hoops or strutting about dressed as generals, wearing leaf helmets and commanding a squadron of cardboard soldiers. Some were laughing, some shouting, some were calling out; others clapped their hands, or whistled, or clucked like a hen who has just laid an egg.
In every square, canvas theaters had been erected and they were crowded with boys from morning till evening. On the walls of the houses there were inscriptions written in charcoal: "Long live playthings, we will have no more schools; down with arithmetic," and similar other fine sentiments, all in bad spelling.
Pinocchio, Candlewick and the other boys who had made the journey with the little man, had scarcely set foot in the town before they were in the thick of the tumult, and I need not tell you that in a few minutes they had made acquaintance with everybody. Where could happier or more contented boys be found?
In the midst of continual games and every variety of amusement, the hours, the days and the weeks passed like lightning.
"Oh, what a delightful life!" said Pinocchio, whenever by chance he met
Candlewick.
"See, then, if I was not right?" replied the other. "And to think that you did not want to come! To think that you had taken it into your head to return home to your Fairy, and to lose your time in studying! If you are this moment free from the bother of books and school, you must acknowledge that you owe it to me, to my advice, and to my persuasions. It is only friends who know how to render such great services."
"It is true, Candlewick! If I am now a really happy boy, it is all your doing. But do you know what the master used to say when he talked to me of you? He always said to me: 'Do not associate with that rascal Candlewick, for he is a bad companion, and will only lead you into mischief!'"
"Poor master!" replied the other, shaking his head. "I know only too well that he disliked me, and amused himself by calumniating me; but I am generous and I forgive him!"
"Noble soul!" said Pinocchio, embracing his friend affectionately and kissing him between the eyes.
This delightful life had gone on for five months. The days had been entirely spent in play and amusement, without a thought of books or school, when one morning Pinocchio awoke to a most disagreeable surprise that put him into a very bad humor.
The surprise was that Pinocchio, when he awoke, scratched his head, and in scratching his head he discovered, to his great astonishment, that his ears had grown more than a hand.
You know that the puppet from his birth had always had very small ears—so small that they were not visible to the naked eye. You can imagine then what he felt when he found that during the night his ears had become so long that they seemed like two brooms.
He went at once in search of a glass that he might look at himself, but, not being able to find one, he filled the basin of his washing-stand with water, and he saw reflected what he certainly would never have wished to see. He saw his head embellished with a magnificent pair of donkey's ears!
Only think of poor Pinocchio's sorrow, shame and despair!
He began to cry and roar, and he beat his head against the wall, but the more he cried the longer his ears grew; they grew, and grew, and became hairy towards the points.
At the sound of his loud outcries a beautiful little Marmot that lived on the first floor came into the room. Seeing the puppet in such grief she asked earnestly:
"What has happened to you, my dear fellow-lodger?"
"I am ill, my dear little Marmot, very ill, and my illness frightens me.
Do you understand counting a pulse?"
"A little."
"Then feel and see if by chance I have got fever."
The little Marmot raised her right fore-paw, and, after having felt
Pinocchio's pulse, she said to him, sighing:
"My friend, I am grieved to be obliged to give you bad news!"
"What is it?"
"You have got a very bad fever!"
"What fever is it?"
"It is donkey fever."
"That is a fever that I do not understand," said the puppet, but he understood it only too well.
"Then I will explain it to you," said the Marmot. "You must know that in two or three hours you will be no longer a puppet, or a boy."
"Then what shall I be?"
"In two or three hours you will become really and truly a little donkey, like those that draw carts and carry cabbages and salad to market."
"Oh, unfortunate that I am! unfortunate that I am!" cried Pinocchio, seizing his two ears with his hands and pulling them and tearing them furiously as if they had been some one else's ears.
"My dear boy," said the Marmot, by way of consoling him, "you can do nothing. It is destiny. It is written in the decrees of wisdom that all boys who are lazy, and who take a dislike to books, to schools, and to masters, and who pass their time in amusement, games, and diversions, must end sooner or later by becoming transformed into so many little donkeys."
"But is it really so?" asked the puppet, sobbing.
"It is indeed only too true! And tears are now useless. You should have thought of it sooner!"
"But it was not my fault; believe me, little Marmot, the fault was all
Candlewick's!"
"And who is this Candlewick?"
"One of my school-fellows. I wanted to return home; I wanted to be obedient. I wished to study, but Candlewick said to me: 'Why should you bother yourself by studying? Why should you go to school? Come with us instead to the "Land of Boobies"; there we shall none of us have to learn; there we shall amuse ourselves from morning to night, and we shall always be merry'."
"And why did you follow the advice of that false friend? of that bad companion?"
"Why? Because, my dear little Marmot, I am a puppet with no sense, and with no heart. Ah! if I had had the least heart I should never have left that good Fairy who loved me like a mamma, and who had done so much for me! And I would be no longer a puppet, for I would by this time have become a little boy like so many others: But if I meet Candlewick, woe to him! He shall hear what I think of him!"
And he turned to go out. But when he reached the door he remembered his donkey's ears, and, feeling ashamed to show them in public, what do you think he did? He took a big cotton cap and, putting it on his head, he pulled it well down over the point of his nose.
He then set out and went everywhere in search of Candlewick. He looked for him in the streets, in the squares, in the little theaters, in every possible place, but he could not find him. He inquired for him of everybody he met, but no one had seen him.
He then went to seek him at his house and, having reached the door, he knocked.
"Who is there?" asked Candlewick from within.
"It is I!" answered the puppet.
"Wait a moment and I will let you in."
After half an hour the door was opened and imagine Pinocchio's feelings when, upon going into the room, he saw his friend Candlewick with a big cotton cap on his head which came down over his nose.
At the sight of the cap Pinocchio felt almost consoled and thought to himself:
"Has my friend got the same illness that I have? Is he also suffering from donkey fever?"
And, pretending to have observed nothing, he asked him, smiling:
"How are you, my dear Candlewick?"
"Very well; as well as a mouse in a Parmesan cheese."
"Are you saying that seriously?"
"Why should I tell you a lie?"
"Excuse me; but why, then, do you keep that cotton cap on your head which covers up your ears?"
"The doctor ordered me to wear it because I have hurt this knee. And you, dear puppet, why have you got on that cotton cap pulled down over your nose?"
"The doctor prescribed it because I have grazed my foot."
"Oh, poor Pinocchio!"
"Oh, poor Candlewick!"
After these words a long silence followed, during which the two friends did nothing but look mockingly at each other.
At last the puppet said in a soft voice to his companion:
"Satisfy my curiosity, my dear Candlewick: have you ever suffered from disease of the ears?"
"Never! And you?"
"Never. Only since this morning one of my ears aches."
"Mine is also paining me."
"You also? And which of your ears hurts you?"
"Both of them. And you?"
"Both of them. Can we have got the same illness?"
"I fear so."
"Will you do me a kindness, Candlewick?"
"Willingly! With all my heart."
"Will you let me see your ears?"
"Why not? But first, my dear Pinocchio, I should like to see yours."
"No: you must be first."
"No, dear. First you and then I!"
"Well," said the puppet, "let us come to an agreement like good friends."
"Let us hear it."
"We will both take off our caps at the same moment. Do you agree?"
"I agree."
"Then, attention!"
And Pinocchio began to count in a loud voice:
"One, two, three!"
At the word "Three!" the two boys took off their caps and threw them into the air.
And then a scene followed that would seem incredible if it were not true. That is, that when Pinocchio and Candlewick discovered that they were both struck with the same misfortune, instead of feeling full of mortification and grief, they began to prick their ungainly ears and to make a thousand antics, and they ended by going into bursts of laughter.
And they laughed, and laughed, and laughed, until they had to hold themselves together. But in the midst of their merriment Candlewick suddenly stopped, staggered, and, changing color, said to his friend:
"Help, help, Pinocchio!"
"What is the matter with you?"
"Alas, I cannot any longer stand upright."
"Neither can I," exclaimed Pinocchio, tottering and beginning to cry.
And whilst they were talking, they both doubled up and began to run round the room on their hands and feet. And as they ran, their hands became hoofs, their faces lengthened into muzzles, and their backs became covered with a light gray hairy coat sprinkled with black.
But do you know what was the worst moment for these two wretched boys?
The worst and the most humiliating moment was when their tails grew.
Vanquished by shame and sorrow, they wept and lamented their fate.
Oh, if they had but been wiser! But instead of sighs and lamentations they could only bray like asses; and they brayed loudly and said in chorus: "Hee-haw!"
Whilst this was going on some one knocked at the door and a voice on the outside said:
"Open the door! I am the little man, I am the coachman who brought you to this country. Open at once, or it will be the worse for you!"
Finding that the door remained shut the little man burst it open with a violent kick and, coming into the room, he said to Pinocchio and Candlewick with his usual little laugh:
"Well done, boys! You brayed well, and I recognized you by your voices.
That is why I am here."
At these words the two little donkeys were quite stupefied and stood with their heads down, their ears lowered, and their tails between their legs.
At first the little man stroked and caressed them; then, taking out a currycomb, he currycombed them well. And when by this process he had polished them till they shone like two mirrors, he put a halter round their necks and led them to the market-place, in hopes of selling them and making a good profit.
And indeed buyers were not wanting. Candlewick was bought by a peasant whose donkey had died the previous day. Pinocchio was sold to the director of a company of buffoons and tight-rope dancers, who bought him that he might teach him to leap and to dance with the other animals belonging to the company.
And now, my little readers, you will have understood the fine trade that little man pursued. The wicked little monster, who had a face all milk and honey, made frequent journeys round the world with his coach. As he went along he collected, with promises and flattery, all the idle boys who had taken a dislike to books and school. As soon as his coach was full he conducted them to the "Land of Boobies," that they might pass their time in games, in uproar, and in amusement. When these poor, deluded boys, from continual play and no study, had become so many little donkeys, he took possession of them with great delight and satisfaction, and carried them off to the fairs and markets to be sold. And in this way he had in a few years made heaps of money and had become a millionaire.
What became of Candlewick I do not know, but I do know that Pinocchio from the very first day had to endure a very hard, laborious life.
When he was put into his stall his master filled the manger with straw; but Pinocchio, having tried a mouthful, spat it out again.
Then his master, grumbling, filled the manger with hay; but neither did the hay please him.
"Ah!" exclaimed his master in a passion. "Does not hay please you either? Leave it to me, my fine donkey; if you are so full of caprices I will find a way to cure you!"
And by way of correcting him he struck his legs with his whip.
Pinocchio began to cry and to bray with pain, and he said, braying:
"Hee-haw! I cannot digest straw!"
"Then eat hay!" said his master, who understood perfectly the asinine dialect.
"Hee-haw! hay gives me a pain in my stomach."
"Do you mean to pretend that a little donkey like you must be kept on breasts of chickens, and capons in jelly?" asked his master, getting more and more angry, and whipping him again.
At this second whipping Pinocchio prudently held his tongue and said nothing more.
The stable was then shut and Pinocchio was left alone. He had not eaten for many hours and he began to yawn from hunger. And when he yawned he opened a mouth that seemed as wide as an oven.